Every year we are alive we learn a lesson. Looking back on the past 50 years. I took stock of the key events from each one.
My year on the lesson is that our parents were prepared in some way to create a baby or the baby was made. They have no idea what skills they will need to raise the baby. My mom was only 16 when I joined her in the world. She was thrilled to be a parent. My dad was never prepared for it. He never embraced it. He never was a parent.
This was my truth and as I turned 50. I realized that his truth was different from my mother’s. She felt the calling to be a great parent. He was and is not the person who would be my dad.
I am blessed with a great dad. I am lucky. The man who gave me life does not have the interest or desire to be a great parent. I accept that and forgive him. It allows me not to be sad or angry about what he was unable to do.
Forgiveness is not for them it is for us so we can move forward and find what we need in life. Many of us have this experience in year one. It is a shared truth of our journey. Not everyone who is in our life will be who we want them to be.
Shar Hermanson 